Why does Fast and Furious get a pass? It’s a question a lot of people have asked. How can a franchise commit all the cardinal sins of filmmaking and still get consistently good reviews and massive amounts of money? What is the secret to Fast? To Furious?

Well for one thing, it has committed almost all of them. Which is to say, it’s a franchise that we’ve allowed to be bad simply because it does bad so well. It’s so over-the-top ridiculous that it’s still extremely enjoyable without being truly good.

For another, it has its positives. It is really creative and well-done in terms of action. They somehow manage to top themselves with each successive movie. This time, they dropped cars out of an airplane and parachuted their way down. Also, they drove a car through three buildings. Also, Vin Diesel collapsed a parking garage with his foot. THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE.

I can’t really talk about the climactic scene of this movie, an hour long car chase that I spent most of zoning out and thinking about movie ideas I’ve been kicking around for a while. Also, I think something important happens? It’s hard to tell, really. Even though none of it is very well done, there’s a lot of sentimental scenes in this movie. There’s a recurring theme of family and loss that’s especially poignant since the death of Paul Walker.

It’s interesting how the film chose to focus so little on its biggest star, Dwayne Johnson. He spends most of the movie hospitalized up until the climax, when he flexes so hard that he breaks the cast on his arm. Instead, the movie focuses primarily on Vin Diesel and newcomer Nathalie Emmanuel, both of whom are great, but it still seems like an odd choice. The movie also focuses quite a bit on Kurt Russell, who at one point says “This time, it’s not just about being fast.” Is that some sort of excuse for calling the movie Furious 7? How do they keep thinking of asinine names of these movies? How do they come up with any of this? They’re so good at being bad.

There are a few baffling celebrity cameos. One from T-Pain, the most underused man in Hollywood, who stands behind a turntable while Tyrese Gibson tries to be funny, and another from Iggy Azalea, who is only in it for two seconds but still manages to be hilarious. “Where you been at, ghost girl,” she asks as she sways her torso like a wacky wavy inflatable arm-flailing tube man. Where she been at, indeed.

There’s a ton I could say about this movie, but I think I’ve covered the bulk of it. I really liked it, overall. It’s not as good as Fast Five or Tokyo Drift, but it’s pretty fun if you don’t take it too seriously. I give it a B. Like this post if you like it, follow me if you like it like it, comment if you got something to say, you can also follow me on twitter @BreakingPOORLY, and as always…

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