Let me give you a little history lesson. Spongebob Squarepants was created by a man named Stephen Hillenburg. Some of you might have known that. But after The Spongebob Squarepants Movie in 2004, Hillenburg resigned as showrunner, handing over the reins to writer Paul Tibbitt. Right around this time was a noticeable decline in the show’s quality, and many blame the meteoric crash on Tibbitt. The other thing you need to know is that Hillenburg returned to the show recently to helm The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water. With that in mind, let’s begin.

The first character we’re introduced to is not Spongebob, but rather, Burgerbeard, a brooding pirate played by Antonio Banderas. There’s not much of an actual character to him, other than that he’s the bad guy and also, he’s a Guardians of the Galaxy. Watch the movie. You’ll see what I’m talking about.

These live action sequences are really what ruins the movie for me. The traditionally animated sequences are delightful, but as soon as we’re taken onto dry land, things fall apart. Now, I have nothing against CGI, and I actually think this movie uses it pretty well, but for whatever reason, the movie becomes a sloppy mess of forced development, boring action, and unfunny jokes in the third act.

That being said, I really love the first two acts of the movie. They set up the show for kids who haven’t seen it, because let’s be honest, kids don’t watch Spongebob anymore. All joking aside, I don’t really understand why they felt the need to explain the mythos of the show at the start of its second movie, but it wasn’t too much of a bother. It’s just an extremely funny, well put together movie up until the climax. But there were a few parts I didn’t really feel.

For example, there’s a time travel element to the plot, which probably only exists as a deus ex machina, but it leads to some of the films more baffling moments. There’s a talking dolphin from the future who watches over the universe to make sure Jupiter and Saturn don’t crash into each other, naturally. I actually thought that character was a little bit funny, though. The part I really didn’t like was the Squidasaurus Rex, which was brought from the past by Patrick and then promptly… sat around doing nothing for five minutes, never to be seen again. No action, no importance, nothing.

I really loved the first half of this movie, so I’ll give it a B overall. I also recommend the soundtrack, which consists of three NERD songs and… that’s about it. But hey, three NERD songs. Like this post if you like this post, comment if you don’t like it or if you want to boost my massive ego, follow my blog if you really like it, you can also follow me on Twitter @BreakingPOORLY, and as always…

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