The found footage genre has worn its welcome. “Started” by The Blair Witch Project and actually started by Man Bites Dog, the genre has become especially popular recently due to the success of 2007’s Paranormal Activity and 2008’s Cloverfield. Since then, we’ve seen such other entries in the genre as The Last Exorcism, Paranormal Activity 2, Apollo 18, Paranormal Activity 3, The Devil Inside, V/H/S, Chronicle, Project X, End of Watch, Paranormal Activity 4, The Bay, A Haunted House, V/H/S 2, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, Devil’s Due, and A Haunted House 2. You’ll notice that most of these movies are terrible. And now you see why the genre has overstayed its welcome.

But it doesn’t look like things are stopping any time soon. In addition to the recent Earth to Echo, upcoming entries in the genre include Into the Storm, As Above, So Below, and of course, Paranormal Activity 5, as well as the recently announced Marble Hornets movie. But Earth to Echo is different. There’s something especially… original about Earth to Echo. And by that I mean it’s Super fucking 8.

Basically, Super 8 Earth to Echo is about three kids who notice strange goings-on, discover an alien, name it Echo, find its spaceship, and avoid the government whilst trying to send it home. And film the whole thing, for some reason. That’s a phrase you’re going to be hearing a lot in this article: “for some reason.” And by that I mean this movie MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE.

Let’s start with Echo. We find out that Echo was shot down by government agents and needs help getting back to his ship. But what was he doing near Earth to begin with? He claims to be lost, so is he a child who took the ol’ ship out for a joyride and wound up in a bad neighborhood? How did the spaceship wind up buried in someone’s backyard? How did Echo wind up so far away from his ship? How did the key to his ship wind up so scattered? Why did the pieces of the key shoot all over the place instead of going straight to Echo? If Echo can dismantle trucks and move them somewhere else and rebuild them and shit, why did he only do that once? How is he going to find his way back home if he’s lost? If he knows the way back, then he’s not lost, is he?

Now, let’s move on to the government agents. I shouldn’t really be calling them that because the movie never clarifies that they work for the government. Seriously. For all we know, they’re just regular construction workers that saw something weird and shot at it (the American way). Of course, that’s an exaggeration. We do know that they’re not actually building a freeway, as they claim. Wait a minute, what? If they’re not building a freeway, what are they doing there? Why would they have needed to bulldoze all those houses for a freeway in the first place? Where does the freeway go? Why is it necessary? What would happen when everyone noticed that there’s no freeway building going on?

Now on to our protagonists. Why didn’t Tuck’s parents find a new place to live yet? They said they had one week left before they had to evacuate. Doesn’t seem like much time, guys. Why did the film set up a romance for Alex and Emma, two characters who we established from the beginning have nothing to do with each other? Why didn’t they ever explain what became of their relationship? Emma isn’t in the resolution scene at all, and Alex moved, but Emma didn’t, so what happened? Did they break up? Were they ever dating? Why did Alex suddenly become the main character halfway through? Why didn’t Alex leave with everyone else at the arcade? Why didn’t everyone else go with Alex into the hole? Why was it a big emotional moment when they did go into the hole? They never said they wouldn’t and there’s no reason they didn’t.

There’s one scene in particular that gets on my nerves. When they first meet Echo, Alex says that he figured out Echo’s code: one beep means yes and two beeps means no. To prove it, he asks Echo if one beep means yes. Echo beeps once. THAT DOESN’T PROVE ANYTHING. If one beep meant no, then Echo would still beep once. For all we know, Echo was actually the opposite of what they thought he was.

Overall, I give this movie a C. It’s not terrible by any means, and the child actors are actually really good. But the movie itself is cliched and nonsensical. I am currently working on a list of the top ten best albums of the decade so far, plus reviews of Trans4mers, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, and Sex Tape. Like if you like, favorite if you favorite, follow if you follow, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @BreakingPOORLY, and as always…

Leik dis if u cri everitiem.

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