Since I’m a movie critic, people are often surprised to find that most of my favorite movies are from the past fifteen years. This could be due to the fact that I am a teenager, and I hadn’t seen a movie that was more than 20 years old until I was nine or ten. In fact, my favorite movie didn’t come out in 1941 or 1972 or even 1995. My favorite movie was Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy, and it came out in 2004.

Note how I say my favorite movie was Anchorman. You see, today I saw a movie that was so heartwarming, so action-packed, and so downright hilarious, that it blew Anchorman out of the water. That movie’s name was Anchorman 2: the Legend Continues, and as of today, my all-time favorite movie came out last Wednesday.

Let’s go through the plot just to give you an idea of how insane this movie is. Ron and Veronica are called up to the office of the nightly news anchor played by Harrison Ford. After having a good look at Ron and Veronica, he tells them that Veronica can have his job when he retires and Ron is fired. This leads to a huge argument between Ron and Veronica, during which we discover that Ron has a child aged 7 named Walter. Ron leaves, becomes depressed and tries to kill himself, but a man comes to him with the idea of a 24-hour news network. Ron rounds up the old team (Champ owns a chicken-of-the-cave restaurant, Brian is a cat photographer, and Brick is “dead”) and they all head to New York to start their network. Ron grows jealous of Jack Lime/Lame/Lamé and this leads to infighting, which eventually causes Ron to have an ice-skating “accident” and become blind. He moves to a lighthouse and, after being joined by Veronica and Walter, raises a shark before finding out that there is a surgery that can cure his blindness. After that, he returns to the news desk, almost misses his son’s piano recital, Harrison Ford is a were-hyena, Brick has a gun from the future, and everything turns out just fine. In an after-credits scene, Brick eats a cookie.

Yep. This movie made about as much sense as a Pete & Pete short. AND IT WAS HILARIOUS. Towards the end, I was tired of laughing and had to calm myself down. None of it is normal and yet, it all makes sense. The big anchor fight at the climax featured cameos from Marion Cotillard, Will Smith, Jim Carrey, Kanye West, Liam Neeson, a minotaur, John C. Reilly as the ghost of Stonewall Jackson, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Sacha Baron Cohen, and Vince Vaughn, reprising his role as Wes Mantooth. If I have one complaint, it’s that the kid isn’t a very good actor. If I have another, it’s that Jack Liameé is kind of a useless character.

Overall, I give this movie an A+. If I could give it a higher grade, I would, because this is the best movie I’ve ever seen. It succeeded in doing everything I expected it to and then some. That’s my last review for the year. I’ll start the end-of-the-year stuff soon. I’m also proud to announce that the first movie I will be reviewing in 2014 is… (drumroll) The Wolf of Wall Street! Until then…

End transmission.

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