Some Harry Potter fans may remember a pub called the Leaky Cauldron that appears in the 1st, 3rd, and 6th installment, and possibly more, I haven’t fully researched this. Now, during one particular scene from… Azkaban? I don’t know. Anyway, in one particular scene, we see a particular wizard at the Cauldron that has aroused some intrigue in the Harry Potter fandom.

Is it that magnificent hair?

Now, the first thing you’ll notice is that he’s reading “A Brief History of Time.” And the weird thing about that is A WIZARD IS DOING SCIENCE. Who is this guy? He only shows up once in the whole series. The kids are never taught science. Did he take up science after graduating? Did he go to Hogwarts? Now, you might be saying “How do you know he’s a wizard? Leaky Cauldron is in London, so maybe he’s just a commoner that walked in.” And that brings me to my second point.

He’s stirring his coffee with wandless magic. This means he’s either an eleven-year-old or a very powerful wizard. Only some of the best wizards in the world, like Dumbledore, Snape, Harry, and Andros the Invincible, performed wandless magic over the course of the series. You’d think, if this guy was so powerful, he’d be on some sort of High Council and not enjoying a cup o’ joe at the Leaky Cauldron. This leads to my theory.

This man developed a complex understanding of quantum physics and, as a wizard, found out the fundamentals of how magic works and how to use it. This means that he could use any spell he wanted whenever he wanted and they couldn’t stop him. Therefore, because they feared him too powerful, they took away his position on whatever High Council he was on and banished him to the Puggle Buggle Snuggle Muggle world to live out the rest of his days.

This concludes tonight’s late night fan theory. Next time, I’ll talk about Pixar. Until then…

End transmission.

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