It’s one of the most ambitious projects in the history of film. It’s brought some of our greatest living actors, writers, and directors together. It’s the third-highest grossing franchise of all time. And most of its movies… are pretty good. That’s right, today I’m going to rank the 8 movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe so far, in eager anticipation of next April’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Let’s begin with the only truly bad movie in the whole franchise:

#8: IRON MAN 2

Pictured: 2 Tony Starks, 2 James Rhodeses, and 1 each of Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanoff, and the Bird Guy.

How did this even happen? Was it the change in writer? Even if the writer wasn’t good at his job (which he isn’t), why did Kevin Feige and Jon Favreau approve of this? Why did RDJ and Mickey Rourke and Gwyneth Paltrow agree to do this? Was Terrence Howard really the rational one in all of this?

GRADE: D+

#7: THE INCREDIBLE HULK

Sad Edward Norton just can’t seem to get a date with a giant green rage monster

There have been some good Hulk movies and some bad Hulk movies. Actually, scratch that. There have only been bad Hulk movies. While this one was not nearly as bad as say, Ang Lee’s 2003 Hulk movie, it still wasn’t… very good. Edward Norton delivered a forgettable performance, as did all the other actors, including the William Hurt and Liv Free or Ty Hard. But I guess it wasn’t THAT bad.

GRADE: C

#6: THOR

The God of Thunder From Down Under

Now, before I move on, I want to make it clear that I don’t think any of these top 6 movies are bad. They’re all at least pretty good. And Thor is no exception. While not particularly memorable, it was at the very least a cool action movie. Speaking of cool action movies and Thor…

GRADE: B

#5: THOR: THE DARK WORLD

Pictured: Marvel’s new default poster layout

Since I’ve already reviewed this movie, I’m going to keep it short. It was a little better than the first one.

GRADE: B+

#4: IRON MAN 3

Pictured: Marvel’s new default poster layout

Once again, I’ve already reviewed this one. But now we’re getting to the really good stuff. All of these top 4 movies have an A-range grade from me. This one, being at #4, has an

GRADE: A-

#3: IRON MAN

Jeff Bridges doing his best Loki face before that was even a thing

Iron Man‘s good, yeah, yeah, yeah

It isn’t bad, no, no, no

GRADE: A

#2: CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

look at all the ‘murica

Alright, the fact that I put Captain America ahead of Iron Man may be a bit controversial, but… I really loved Captain America. I found it better than pretty much any non-MCU Marvel movie, except maybe Amazing Spider-Man and X2. And I just thought it was a really well-done, really funny, action-packed, nearly-perfect take on Captain America.

GRADE: A+

#1: MARVEL’S THE AVENGERS

This poster cost $12 million. And it was worth every penny.

Was there ever any doubt? Avengers isn’t only my favorite MCU movie, it’s my 2nd-favorite superhero movie, and one of my top 5 favorite movies of all time. This may be because I’m a Millennial nerd. That is all. If you haven’t seen this movie, you must. Immediately. Do it. Don’t even finish the article. Just watch it. Right now.

GRADE: A+

So, that concludes my Stank-Ass Ranking of the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies. I’ll have a Hobbit review out next Sunday, a couple Late Night Fan Theories here and there, an Anchorman 2 review (squee!) out the next week, and then I’ll start doing the year-end stuff. Until then…

End transmission.

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