Reviews for Normal People

Hi. I review things.

Stank-Ass Ranking: Superman — September 25, 2013

Stank-Ass Ranking: Superman

Hello and welcome to Stank-Ass Ranking. Today we’ll be examining the Superman movies. Why, you may ask? Because I haven’t put an article out in a while and I wanted to treat you guys. Before we begin, I want to point out that my list will NOT include Superman and the Mole Men, since I have never seen the movie and doubt that I could even if I wanted to. Alright, let’s begin with the worst movie in the entire Superman franchise.

#7: Supergirl

Was there not enough money in the budget to make a costume that fits? I believe it.

Now, a lot of you are probably thinking, does Supergirl really count as a Superman movie? Superman’s not even in it. Wait, scratch that. A lot of you are probably thinking, there was a Supergirl movie? Well, the reason you don’t know about it is that at first, it wasn’t even released in North America. TriStar did eventually release it stateside, but it only earned the movie an extra $14 million. And it’s easy to see why. This movie is truly atrocious. It’s such a perfect example of a bad movie, it’s almost too bad to be true. Unfortunately, it is true, and it was released on DVD in 2006. GRADE: F

#6: Superman IV: the Quest for Peace

The undersecretary general is not amused.

This is the movie a lot of you were expecting to be at the bottom. Not only is this movie bad, it’s really bad. Not only is this movie really bad, it’s so bad that Superman wouldn’t bounce back for another 26 years afterwards, and even then he’s still not exactly the biggest hero around. This movie is really, really bad. I won’t go into detail, because I think you all know why. Actually, I will go into detail. It was inconsistent, the special effects were terrible… and then there’s Nuclear Man. I am dumbfounded by how this movie was allowed to be shown in theaters. I really want to know. GRADE: F

#5: Superman III

[article could not handle the terribility of this photo]

Silly Richard Pryor, that’s not how humor works! GRADE: D+

#4: Superman Returns

*yawn*Hey, I’m Superman and stuff

Lesson: don’t let people play Superman just because they’ll attract the teenage girl demographic. Seriously, I think I would’ve preferred it if Nicolas Cage was Superman


Never mind. GRADE: C-

#3: Man of Steel

What hole in the wall? This is just a new window I installed.

This movie was by no means bad. It just wasn’t good. Or at least, not as good as the two movies you’ll see on top, once I’m done killing time with this movie. I already reviewed this movie, and although my opinions on it have changed since then, you’ll probably want to check it out to get my full opinion. GRADE: B-

#2: Superman II


Yep. Superman II was awesome. It starred Terrence Stamp as Zod, instead of Emo Frankenstein from Man of Steel. But I’m sorry, I can not take that Phantom Zone. GRADE: B+ And the best Superman movie of all time is…

#1: Superman

Pictured: The only flying shot in all four movies.

There can be only one. This movie is really good. So good, it has a 93% on Rotten Tomatoes. So good, that it was nominated for three Academy Awards and a Special Achievement award for its visual effects. This movie is so good that it, along with Star Wars and Close Encounters, launched the popularity of sci-fi movies. Was there really any doubt that this would be number one? It’s just so good. GRADE: A.

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @BreakingPOORLY for more of my mad ramblings. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, post them in the comments section below or e-mail them to me at I’ll try to get a Cloudy 2 review up on Sunday, followed by two articles about Breaking Bad. Until then…

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Review: The Family is Forgettable, but Good — September 22, 2013

Review: The Family is Forgettable, but Good





Hello, normal people of the world, and welcome to my latest installment of… Review, I guess. Today, I’ll be talking about The Family, the latest from the mind behind Taken and The Fifth Element. The movie revolves around the family of a crime lord played by Robert De Niro. And honestly, I don’t have much to say about it. As I said in my title, the movie is very forgettable, and although it was altogether a good movie, it was just hard to sit through. The beginning was too gritty and confusing, the middle had no plot and started coming off as a Grown Ups-like excuse to tell every joke they could think of, and the ending? Well, the ending was awesome.

I noticed that in the film society scene, they used one of De Niro’s best and most well-known movies: Goodfellas. I don’t know if this was meant to poke fun at something, but if it was, it didn’t really work. Were they going to do a self-reference, then decided it wouldn’t work with the tone of the movie and left it out? I don’t know. Another issue I have is that the relationship that Dianna Argon’s character gets into doesn’t really feel real. I don’t know, it just never really seems like they actually, you know, fell in love. Now that I think about it, that plotline never really gets resolved, does it? One minute, she’s on the roof, the next minute, she’s shootin’ some bad guys.

All in all, I do like this movie. It definitely gets a B- from me. De Niro’s finally doing something right. And it looks like his next few films are going to be… exactly the same thing. Seriously, look at his IMDb page. All of his upcoming movies are crime thrillers. I have a feeling things are only going to get worse for Robert De Niro.

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @BreakingPOORLY for more of my insane ramblings. I’ll have a Cloudy 2 review up next Sunday and a Stank-Ass Ranking of the Superman movies sometime this week. After that, I’ll do a Reading About TV and a Break It Down for Breaking Bad. Until then…

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Site News: Movies and Shit — September 18, 2013

Site News: Movies and Shit

Hey, guys. Sorry I haven’t released anything in a few weeks. I’ll be reviewing The Family this weekend, Cloudy 2 the next weekend, and in between, I’ll rank the Superman movies. After my Cloudy 2 review, I’ll write a RAT about the Breaking Bad finale, then maybe a Break It Down about the show.

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READING ABOUT TV: The Futurama Finale — September 8, 2013

READING ABOUT TV: The Futurama Finale

Well, Futurama‘s finally over. After 14 years of cancellations and revivals, it has finally met an end. The show’s other two endings, “The Devil’s Hands are Idle Playthings” and “Into the Wild Green Yonder,” were fantastic episodes, and in my opinion, among the best. So, with the show meeting what will likely be its end, there was one question on everyone’s mind: will the finale be any good? Some people were worried that expectations for the episode were too high, and that it could never live up to them. Their fears were escalated when it was announced that the show would be crossing over with The Simpsons next year, meaning that no one would leave or die in the finale, something you wouldn’t expect from Futurama. So, how did the episode turn out?

Perfectly. I mean it. I can not imagine how this episode could have been better. Well, I probably could. I would’ve enjoyed it if Bender found out that Hermes created him, and it would’ve been cool if we got to see Amy and Kif’s kids somehow, maybe in an epilogue. I still loved the episode, though. It had that perfect blend of everything that made Futurama so good. It had great comedy, good drama, good action, good sci-fi, a darkly funny plot that makes you think. It really was a near-perfect episode. And that’s why I give the Futurama finale an A+. A lot of my favorite shows have ended or will be ending this year, but so far, this may be the best I’ve seen of the finales. It truly embodies everything that makes the show good.

I’m sorry this review took so long and was so short. I’ll get to work on my favorite episodes ranking right away. I’ll also be reviewing The Family next week. After that, I’ll try to think of a couple articles to put out before the Cloudy 2 review at the end of the month. Until then…

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Break It Down: Futurama — September 2, 2013

Break It Down: Futurama

Unfortunately, it looks like Futurama, possibly the smartest cartoon in the history of television, is finally coming to an end after 14 years and 7 seasons. Now, those of you who are woefully unprepared to read this article may be wondering how a show could be on for 14 years and only have 7 seasons. Allow me to fill you in on that. The first season was aired over the course of one year: 1999. The second season started in 1999, and ended in 2000. The third season went from January 2001 all the way to December 2002. The fourth went from 2002 to 2003. Then the show was cancelled, before being revived for 4 four-part specials in 2008 and 2009. This was the fifth season. Comedy Central started airing new episodes of the show in 2010, splitting each season into two parts. The final season, #7, is ending on Wednesday. Now that we’ve gone over a general history, let’s get into the details.

It all started in the mid-1990s, when Fox was so happy with the success of The Simpsons that they wanted Matt Groening to make a new show. This is when he started to conceive Futurama. He asked David X. Cohen for help making the show in 1996. After years of research and development, the show was finally pitched to Fox in April 1998. Groening called the process of trying to get the show on the air the worst experience of his adult life. At this point, Cohen and Groening had already conceived many characters and plotlines for the show. Fox had ordered thirteen episodes, but were reluctant because of a few of the characters and aspects of the show. They were particularly concerned about suicide booths, Dr. Zoidberg, and Bender’s personality. Groening was adamant about making the show the way he wanted to make it, much like he was with The Simpsons up until about 2003. Like with The Simpsons, several Futurama episodes are produced at a time, since it takes six months to write, record, animate, and edit each episode.

So, the first episode aired, titled “Space Pilot 3000.” And it did terrifically. It garnered 11 million viewers, more than The Simpsons or The X-Files, which were on before and after it, and was the most popular show of the week among men and teenagers. The pilot, revolved around a pizza delivery boy named Fry who accidentally becomes cryogenically frozen for 1000 years just as the clock strikes twelve on January 1, 2000. He is unfrozen in the year 3000, where he has to run from being labelled as a delivery boy for his whole life. Along the way, he meets Bender, a sassy, alcoholic robot who is literally everyone’s favorite character. In the end, Fry, Bender, and Leela, who is trying to implant his “career chip” that would, like I said before, label him permanently as a delivery boy, decide to join an interplanetary delivery company headed by Fry’s distant nephew, Hubert Farnsworth. Yes, that all happened in one 22-minute episode. Unfortunately, a decline in ratings led this season to #89 in the Neilsen ratings. While not great, the ratings still warranted a second season.

The second season helped shape the Futurama we know and love, having further established the characters of Richard Nixon and Zapp Brannigan and marked the first first appearance of fan favorites Robot Santa, Cubert, the Robot Mafia, Mom, and Lrrr. This season also had the first Anthology of Interest, a staple for the show. Yes, this certainly was a great season for Futurama, even though there was a 6-month hiatus in the middle. Another slight dip in ratings put this at #97 on the end-of-the-year Nielsen ratings. However, the show won an Emmy, an Annie, and an EMA, in addition to two Annie nominations, including Best Prime-Time Animated Series. So, the show was renewed by Fox yet again.

This brings us to season three. This was a very hectic season, with several large gaps between episodes that led to a lack of structure, and the show finished a dismal #115 in the Neilsen ratings. That’s not to say it was a bad season. It may be the best, as a matter of fact. It included such classic episodes as “Amazon Women in the Mood,” “The Luck of the Fryrish,” “The Day the Earth Stood Stupid,” and “Anthology of Interest 2.” The only reason the show was doing so poorly was that Fox kept moving it from timeslot to timeslot, meaning viewers had a hard time finding the show. Its bad luck continued through Season 4, at which point it had only 6.9 million viewers, and was cancelled by Fox.

So, was Futurama gone forever? Of course not, it’s ending on Wednesday. So, how did it save itself from cancellation? Well, Comedy Central secured the syndication rights in 2005. They weren’t able to start airing them until 2008, because Cartoon Network had the rights up until then. While negotiating the acquisition of Futurama, which became the most expensive acquisition in the network’s history, Comedy Central discussed the possibility of new episodes. And after tremendous success in syndication, Groening and Cohen announced the production of 4 four-part episodes that would air on Comedy Central over the course of 2008 and 2009. Although the final movie, “Into the Wild Green Yonder,” was meant as a definitive end to the series, Groening was very open to producing more episodes in the future.

But before we get to that, let’s talk about the first movie, “Bender’s Big Score.” The story revolves around nudist aliens taking over planet express and using a time travel code on Fry’s ass to become the most powerful people in the universe. The movie ends with an epic battle to reclaim Earth, followed by the shocking revelation that Leela’s fiancé was an alternate version of Fry. Yeah, it was pretty weird. It’s still a really good movie, though. It has a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.

The next movie was “The Beast with a Billion Backs,” whose plot is far too weird to accurately explain, so let’s move on to the third movie, “Bender’s Game,” in which Bender’s obsession with Dungeons and Dragons brings the crew into a fantasy world straight out of… Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah, these movies have really weird plots. Seriously, though, they’re fantastic. You should really check them out. Especially the fourth one, “Into the Wild Green Yonder,” which is my favorite Futurama episode of all time.

Getting back to the story, it was announced in June 2009 that Comedy Central would be airing 26 new episodes of Futurama starting one year hence. This new series would have a smaller writing staff, since many of the writers were not able to or interested in returning. Despite a salary dispute, all the original voice actors agreed to return for this sixth season. The premiere night was the highest-rated night in 2010 for Comedy Central, and the highest-rated Thursday in the network’s entire history. It wasn’t announced until July 2011 that a 7th season would be created, meaning that this week’s episode, “Meanwhile,” will be the fourth episode of Futurama meant as a finale.

So, how were Groening and co. gonna pull this? Were they going to give a simple explanation for how things got back to normal? Were they going to have things stay how they are and have the crew explore the galaxy a la Star Trek? Were they going to spoof Hollywood reboots by giving an overly complicated explanation for how everyone survived and things went back to normal? If you know anything about Futurama, you probably know which one. This overly complicated explanation also provided the “comedy central channel” line, which is my favorite line from any Futurama episode. And with viewership ranging from 1.5 million to 3 million, the new season was a hit (by cable standards). So, naturally, Comedy Central renewed the show for what would become the final season.

This brings us to our current season, #7. And although it’s certainly not as high-quality as say, Season 3, there are a few great episodes, like “Decision 3012,” “Viva Mars Vegas,” and one of my personal favorites, “Saturday Morning Fun Pit.” However, due to a dip in ratings (a July episode brought in only 810,000 viewers), the show was cancelled.

So, is this the end of Futurama? There’s a good chance. While Futurama doesn’t seem to take “cancelled” for an answer, there don’t seem to be many platforms on which it could continue (Netflix? Hulu?). So, this may very well be the end of Futurama for good. But in my opinion, they had a good run. In fact, the past five years have basically been a bonus round for the show, anyway. I’m very much looking forward to the finale and I can’t wait to see Fry and Leela’s wedding (we all know it’s going to happen).

After a review of the finale on Sunday, I’ll post a list of my top ten favorite episodes of Futurama. Until then…

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